So this is just rambling because that seems to be how my brain is working this morning. I have debated long and hard on whether I even needed to mention this because in one part of my mind it wasn’t what i usually have to drink, it was bourbon, and it was only one and it sucked and it didn’t make me feel better and it made my sleep horrible and I wasn’t even drunk and I hate to give up 31 days just because of that but on the other side I don’t want my hundred days to make me feel like a complete liar knowing that I had a drink…. so today I am left with feeling horrible, like a failure, just totally uncomfortable in my own skin… Maybe this is a midlife crisis? Maybe I’m just doomed to be a failure? I know all this will go away and I know I’m just having a down day today but it really sucks to say that I’m back on day one and I know why I went off, I kept saying in my head HALT, HALT, HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tiredx) and I had the “T” down to a science, I was tired, exhausted in fact and I knew not to do it and what really pisses me off is I didn’t even enjoy it so I think I’m partly upset about that too, the fun part of alcohol apparently is no longer for me…. so reset the clock…. I’m doubling down back on day 1 and I will win this battle, of that I have no doubt….. thanks for listening to my rambling and I hope they make sense. GaGalGoingDry sober Day one!!!