3.85% Drunk

Day 78 of this journey and for the last three nights I’ve had a bourbon and coke before bed. No wine, no blackouts but still troubling. That means out of 78 days I’ve been sober 96.15% of the time. That feels better than thinking I’ve just screwed up.

I looked up the difference between a lapse and a relapse, I know semantics to many but an interesting read.

http://www.recovery.org/pro/articles/the-truth-about-relapse-5-misconceptions-explained/

Lapse vs. Relapse: There is a major difference between having one slip and having a relapse. A lapse represents a temporary slip or return to a previous behavior that one is trying to control or quit (usually a onetime occurrence), whereas a relapse represents a full-blown return to a pattern of behavior that one has been trying to moderate or quit altogether (Marlatt & Donovan, 2005).

I need to go back to Day 1 thinking and not drink at all. I don’t think moderation is going to work for me but I also know my mindset and if I look at this as a failure I will start a downward spiral.

Day one, or 3.79% drunk.

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14 thoughts on “3.85% Drunk

  1. Nevermind the day thing, you are on the sober path. Don’t feel bad about it learn from it. We can always learn from the lapses, feeling like a filure doestn help one bit. Its ok I know it sucks so feel shitty for a day or two and then carry on. You are on the right track honey. xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Little indiscretions lead us into bigger ones. I’m glad you viewed the nightcaps as “troubling”. You are awesome for going 75 days! Keep going and like Hurrah said- never mind the day thing. I don’t like counting days- eventually the time away turns against me in my alcoholic thinking. I am sober today. Onward my friend! ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I used to do exactly what you are now doing with the percentages. Of the last five years (before I went cold turkey), I was drinking 25% of the time. I took this to be a much more positive thing than 98%, which is what it had been. All of this ‘practice’ can lead to total sobriety. I am cheering for you! 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The important thing is that you were honest with yourself.
    I have written about this before, but when I had my last slip, instead of beating myself up, I forgave myself and realized I couldn’t drink anymore.
    By being kind to myself I was able to get sober.
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 2 people

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